Mims for Pope

Mims for Pope:
Help a Brotha Help You Out!

I should be the next pope and you should support me. It’s about time that an African- American be named to the highest position within the Catholic Community. I’m not Catholic, but neither was Jesus and look what a fine Catholic he turned out to be. I am good at forgiving people, love Italian food and I look good in a robe.

I don’t like little boys so no need to worry about a big scandal. And everyone seems to worry about me and the abstinence clause. The better part of abstinence is discretion. If I am unable to fully give up sex, I will at least be discreet. And if I do get caught, the chick will be hot. No one wants to follow a religious leader with bad taste in women.

It is clear to me that the sole purpose of my first 40 years of existence has been to prepare me for the next phase of my life which is clearly the Papalcy. If not me, then who? So all you good little Catholic boys and girls, send a twitter message to your Congressman, your Bishop, and say a prayer that the next Pope is not some aging Caucasian dying man, but a vibrant young Black man…..Mims for Pope!


I suppose it’s been far too long…..

What a strange year and a half it’s been. I don’t even know where to start. I guess I’ll just write Tarantino style and start from now and go backwards…..Since I last wrote, I got fired, I got hired, I found the career I truly enjoy, I met some people, I dropped some people and I had a great time doing it all. I failed at a few things but I conquered a whole lot more.

I decided today that I will no longer be too busy to post on my blog. Typically, I don’t make resolutions but this year I have a long list of things to accomplish. Most people would rather live in shit as opposed to lifting a shovel; this is my year to lift a damn shovel and clean up some of the shit in my life. That being said, I find it easier to succeed when I share my goals with others. One of the things at the top of the list for this year is to write consistently; I have two E-books I would like to publish and I enjoy my online interactions on my little piece of the internet.

Stay tuned.

Yours truly,



I’m Not a Role Model

Anyone miss me? I haven’t written in a while. I had a great summer with my son, spent time with my parents in the country, and have made great strides working my side hustles. I am on pace to be unemployed happy in January. For those of you who emailed, tweeted, shouted me out and left comments in my absence, I appreciate all of them. While I was gone, I found a new hero.

Everyone looks up to someone. I try to attach myself to people who are in some way doing better than me. No one is realer than me, but there are those who are smarter, funnier, wealthier, healthier and wiser. As a side note, there are no better drinkers.

I like to think that by surrounding myself with people who are moving up, in some sort of way, I am getting caught in their updraft. As my father says, you can’t hang with buzzards all night and expect to soar with eagles; while I routinely try to prove this theory wrong, I must admit there is a lot of truth in his statement.

Some people are clearly ahead of your station in life; others are clearly inferior. I have found that you can learn something from ALMOST anyone. There is a skill in finding admirable qualities in less than desirable people. I like to think that I have this skill.

Regular readers know how I feel about marriage; it’s a misunderstanding between two fools. That being said, I might get married again in my old age. I like to think that my next ex-wife will be born in December of this year.

I’ll be an old crusty bastard with couple of dollars to my name and a big swagger. I will be a Democrat and my new wife will be a 35 year old hotty with a nice rack that I may or may not purchase. I might even choose to live in the great state of Louisiana. I will be 74. That’s not a big feat; it happens all the time. But most of the guys who pull it off don’t have criminal records and they don’t convince hot chicks to marry them while they are still incarcerated.

That being said, my new hero is one Edwin Edwards. Some guys just have it. Get like him.